Families Joining Together

When second families start joining together family life can become complicated. It can be difficult to know what to call your family, is it a stepfamily, a blended family or a link family? Whatever you choose to call it, it is still your family, just in a different form.

Blending different families doesn’t happen easily. The two families will have grown up with different rules, attitudes and life experiences. Living together with anyone will have its frustrations and irritations. Try and take a mental step back from some of the smaller irritations and see if you can learn not to react to them in such a strong manner. When something important needs to be dealt with, you are more likely to be listened to when you have not made issues out of all the small ‘stuff’.

Tips for dealing with your parents’ new relationships:

• It will take time to adjust to the fact that a new partner is in your parent’s life
• Remember that your other parent is not being replaced
• Getting along with a new partner does not mean that you get along with your other parent less.
• Try not to compare your mother to your father’s girlfriend
• Try not to compare your father to your mother’s boyfriend
• You do not have to like a new partner, but make sure you treat him or her as you would want to be treated
• See him or her as another adult looking out for you
• If you feel that you want some one-to-one time with your parent, then ask for it.

Taken from ‘When Parents Split’ by Glynis Good